18 years ago I was earning 5 times the national average. I had two cars, two houses, two holidays a year and to the casual observer, an ideal life.
The truth, however, was very different. I was constantly tired, always ill, and felt exhausted both physically and mentally most of the time. Eventually I went to the doctor’s and asked him if he could help. After a brief diagnosis he declared that I was suffering from severe stress. I looked at him as if he was bonkers. I clenched my fists quite tightly, shook them in his general direction, and somewhat comically declared “I’m not stressed!”. The doctor just paused for a moment, gestured towards my clenched fists with his eyes, then looked at me. It took that moment to realise he might have a point. The challenge 18 years ago was no one really talked about stress. It was something that, in my perception, happened to weak minded people. I was lucky. I listened, learned and took action to change my lifestyle. I began to do relaxation exercises and very quickly I realised there was a whole lot more to life and making money and material possessions.
On my journey to understand stress I discovered that ultimately all of the stress I had in my life I caused myself. This was a really difficult realisation to come to. How can I possibly want to make myself ill? But this was the reality that so many of us are exposed to without even knowing about it. I chose to learn more about the causes of everyday stress and more importantly what we can do to change it. It really is more simple to fix that we first think.
On your journey to developing a calm mind set this next sentence is one of the most liberating you will read. Whether we like it or not the person responsible for 100% of your stress is you!
It’s Your Mind Your Choice
Now when I first heard this my reaction was DON’T BE RIDICULOUS! I’m not responsible for my annoying boss, or the fact I don’t get paid enough. When my partner does something really annoying it’s not directly my fault. I certainly didn’t cancel the train this morning or cause the accident that made me late for work.
Well, all of that is true. The point is you are the one who has the choice about how you react. You have the power to process the thoughts that influence how you feel. You and only you can make a conscious choice to get angry and feel frustrated. You and only you can choose a more helpful state of mind and make a conscious choice to move on, accept the reality of the challenge, learn from it. Find a solution.
It is Your Mind, Your Choice.
For many people this simple realisation is a huge help. Here are ten tips I hope you find useful in quickly being able to manage your stress…
How stressed are you?
10 Top Tips To Manage Stress
Here are 10 simple things you can do right now to develop a more calm mindset.
Even if it’s the last thing you want to do, give it a go. Think of something that makes you happy, a time, a place, a feeling. Build from here.
Remember you are awesome
We can forget that we are amazing, unique beings capable of wonder and joy. Tap into memories and feelings of when you have done something that makes you feel proud. Maybe write a few things down. Look at the list and feel good about it.
Avoid fake fixes
Recreational Drugs (alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and other stuff) may seem like they give some short term relief, but they generally add to long term stress. If you use any more regularly than you don’t, reverse the trend. Moderation, even abstinence can be the key.
Make time for yourself
If you didn’t shower or bathe for a few days, you might not smell or feel great. The same can be said if you don’t make time to relax. Schedule time for activities that give your mind, body and spirit recovery time. If you haven’t got time, make some time, seriously, make time!
If you can’t change it, drop it
If you add to your general stress with things over which you have no control or have no
influence to change, then drop it! Consider avoiding the news and even TV soaps for a few weeks. They are both designed to make you feel vulnerable. The world will still carry on and you’ll be surprised at how your general mood lifts.
Working out what triggers stress for you can help you anticipate problems and think of ways to solve them. Even if you can’t avoid these situations, being prepared can help. Maybe make a list. Your mind your choice.
Choose positive people
Most of us know family, friends and colleagues who are really positive. We also know people who can be very draining and negative. Wherever possible (your mind your choice) spend time with people who add value to your life. Avoid energy vampires!
Every breath you take seems to come naturally, we tend not to give it much thought. However the pace, depth and quality of your breathing can make a huge difference to how you feel. Taking controlled , slow deep breaths for a few minutes a day can really improve how you feel.
Plan to feel good
It may sound simplistic but the simple act of planning to feel good and be more relaxed will make a difference. Daily affirmations will help.
Become proactive in choosing who you are
Take an interest in becoming the person you want to be. Tell your brain each day how you want to feel. The more you keep your brain focused on how you want to feel the more it will become your natural way of being.
I hope these few things help, any questions please get in touch.
article by Marcus C Thomlinson founder of The Mindset revolution
#stress #calm #mindset #mindfulness
If you would like to learn more about how to beat stress and develop a calm mindset then get in touch to see how our 7 Key Mindsets Programme can change your life today.